FACE YOUR FEARS
So many people don’t take action because they have too much fear.
What are we fearful of?
What are we scared of?
We live in the modern world where the need for a Neanderthal reaction to threats from wild animals and the unknown are not so necessary.
Because they do not exist in the so called, First world.
If we live in normal circumstances and not in some jungle somewhere, we are not being chased by animals that are trying to kill us, these days.
Ok, I admit that there is an off chance that while walking down Wall Street we will meet a ravenous tiger. But it is unlikely.
You can ignore the bull it is made of bronze. The only issue that you have with the bull, is if it should topple over on you while you were fooling around with it.
Most of the fears we have are just negative thoughts that we are allowing to take control of our mind and paralyse our actions.
Most fear is just bad management of our own mental faculties. We are not in control of our thoughts. We are just allowing our brain to bounce around in a random way and unconscious thoughts take control. It is these unconscious fears that are wiping us out.
It is these unconscious fears that are wiping us out.
The psychological fear we have is it’s like being inside a bowl of steel that is slowly shrinking and crushing us; not enough to kill us but enough to torture us into thinking “we cannot get out, we cannot escape, we cannot do.”
Or like being in a straight jacket, where we can struggle for hours but not escape. We want to escape, to get out, but we cannot.
What is Fear?
Fear is an unconscious reaction to the unknown.
When we are younger most of us think we can do anything until a few realities and knocks from our peer group hit us.
This inner fear tends to become more intense as we grow older. As we age, say into our twenties, most of us have been moulded into some sort of shape. We know what the boundaries are and apart from a possibly a few wild adventures we tend to stay within them.
We acquiesce in the comfort of the known.
We have been trained to conform. Thus we react to the fear of stepping outside the boundaries, the mould.
As we approach later life many of us say ‘to heck with it’ and go for whatever it is we want to go for. Our inhibitions, our inner fears have diminished. Sometimes it is too late
How do we Overcome our Fears?
Most fear can be overcome by simply acknowledging that the fear exists and facing up to it.
So, face your fears head on. Dissect your fears. Tear them apart and understand the nuances and detail of the fear.
Ask yourself ‘What is it that I am afraid of? Why am I afraid of it?
Once you understand your fears you will find that they are not so scary after all.
Manage your Fears
The first thing we fear is perhaps the pain of loss.
If I make that big change in my life I might lose my job. I might lose my relationship with my spouse, lose my connection with my kids or lose a passion or a benefit.
You want to start your own business and everyone around you generates fear in you, saying, ‘Be careful this is very dangerous. You don’t want to quit your job and lose all that security. What about your 401k, you’ll lose it.’
You start to think about what your ‘Friend?!’ says. You start to become concerned and fearful that you are going to lose the security you might have had in an employed position.
You may lose the steady pay check and the predictability of your former career path. The fringe benefits such as the gym subscription and the restaurant may also go.
You will fear that you will not have the support group that a conventional business provides. It will all depend on YOU!
In the future, it will all depend on YOU!
So, you think about all the things you’re going to lose and that stops you from making the decision to quit.
Once your fears become known then you can develop an ability to control and manage them. Once you can manage your current fear you can develop a capability to manage any new fear that comes your way.
You will have equipped yourself with the tools to manage any situation.
The more you understand something the more confidence you have. Something that once held fear for you is not so fear inducing now.
The Antidote to Fear
Start to focus on the things you are going to gain.
- I might lose my security for the short-term, but over the long term, I will gain my freedom.
- I will be able to do the things I want to do and no one will be telling me that I cannot do it.
- Yes, I will lose some benefits in the short term. But there is just a chance that I can make this new business work, make lots of money and be able to reinstate the good things I enjoyed when working for someone else.
- I may even make a million dollars.
- I will be achieving my lifetime’s ambition.
- I will be my own boss.
- I will have the freedom to do the things I have always wanted to do.
Just focus on those gains.
Yes, you may be walking away from a degree of certainty and security, but in today’s world, given the frightening rate of change, you might be making a decision which you have control of now, but in a year’s time that control might be taken out of your hands by global economic circumstances.
It might be safer to jump rather than wait until you are pushed.